


I messed up, I messed everything

by ElevenClouds



Category: Kuroshitsuji : The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World - Iwasaki/Mori/Mari
Genre: Boys Kissing, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Gay Male Character, M/M, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 13:39:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15438225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElevenClouds/pseuds/ElevenClouds
Summary: The first show was absolutely OUTSTANDING. They were all laughing, crying and screaming in the backstages, all of them. All, except one.Takuya was crying on a corner, silently, watching all of his colleagues congratulating one another, hugging and smiling.





	I messed up, I messed everything

The first show was absolutely OUTSTANDING. They were all laughing, crying and screaming in the backstages, all of them. All, except one. 

Takuya was crying on a corner, silently, watching all of his colleagues congratulating one another, hugging and smiling. 

He was very disappointed with his own performance. It was HIS time, and he fucked up. Yuya tried to help him, but Takuya's voice was so cracked that even the beautiful Butler couldn't do anything to save the song.

Unable to witness the joy and the smiles anymore, Takuya got up and fled to an empty room. Here, he cried all he wanted. Watching his reflection on the mirror, he torn his wing, glasses and red coat. At this very time, he hated Grell Sutcliff, the whole cast, but must of all : he hated himself. 

He was so absorbed in his grief that he didn't hear the light knock at the door, and he fell on the floor, still crying. 

The knock started again, slightly stronger this time. Takuya heard it, and he looked at the door.

"-Can't I have some privacy ??!" He shouted angrily.

"-Leave me alone, bloody hell !!  
-Takuya, my friend, it's me. Yuya. Please, let me in. I know you're not in a good mood...  
-I don't need anybody to cheer me up !  
-I never said I wanted to cheer you up. Please, let me in."

Takuya thought about it for a split seconds, but shook his head.

"-No. Leave me alone. I don't want company. Especially YOU, after all this.... THIS MESS !"

Tears came back on his cheeks and he started to sob.

"-Please..." Came Yuya's voice on the other side of the door. "Please, let me in, Takkun. Please."

The door opened, and Yuya came into the room, closing and locking the door behind him.

"-Takkun."

Takuya didn't even answer to him, looking straight at the floor.  
"-Takuya, my friend. Don't cry, you'll ruin your make up ~  
\- I DON'T CARE !!"

Takuya suddenly got up. He was taller than Yuya, and, still, without his glasses, red coat and wig, he was so similar to Grell that Yuya would not be surprised if Takuya suddenly invoked a chainsaw to tear him up.

"-I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY MAKE UP, ABOUT MY COSTUME, I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE JOY HERE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CONGRATULATIONS, AND ESPECIALLY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ! ABOUT YOUR SOLICITUDE, ABOUT YOUR KINDNESS !"

Yuya felt his heart sink, but he remained very still and let the handsome man in red shouting at him as much as he wanted  
When Takuya's tantrum finally stop, Yuya started to move, very carefully, as if he approached a wild animal trapped in a cage. Despite his slender frame, he knew Takuya was strong enough to knock him out, and thought he would never do this normally, this evening, he was so lost and so sad that Yuya felt the possibility. 

Slowly, Yuya came to Takuya, raising a hand to touch his cheek.

"-My friend."

Takuya's eyes were storms, showing how torn he was on the inside.  
"-You were perfect. I know why you are so angry and so sad. You think you messed up our song... But, please, please, listen to me. "

Takuya's cat eyes focused on Yuya.

"-You were perfect. You are sick. It happens. It happens to the bests, and you are one of them. I loved everything you did this evening. And, no, I don't try to flatter you to cheer you up. You know I'm frank enough to tell the truth even if this is difficult to hear. And, if I tell you you were perfect.... You were. You are a beautiful, sensual and lascivious Grell, Takkun. For a moment, I was... I was sad that Sebastian doesn't want this kiss with Grell, because, I assure you, I would have given this kiss to you. I would. I promise it."

Takuya felt something in him wake up, like a cat raising his ears. He would WHAT ?  
Yuya perfectly knew that Takuya was gay, and he never manifested any problem with this, never mentioned it... Except this evening.  
"-So, please, don't be sad. I can't bear to see you sad. I can't."  
What was happening.  
"-Maybe Sebastian doesn't want this kiss; but *I* want it.  
"-N...Nani ?"

Takuya closed his eyes and shook his head. He was dreaming, a very odd dream about Yuya wanting to kiss him, all of a sudden.  
When he reopened them, Yuya was still here, waiting fo Takuya's answer with a shy smile.  
"-Why ?  
-Why ? I... To be very honest, I don't even know why. I never thought about it before. But I saw you this evening, I saw you so... So... Beautiful,; passionate, red... I can only promise that... I'll never bother you anymore after this."

Takuya stayed still, silent, as Yuya approached from his face.

"-Takkun."  
And before Takuya could even think about it, Yuya's lips were on his own.  
______________________

END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER.

I'm very sorry for my awful English. I'm French and I don't write this much in English, especially a fiction. But... Except all of my mistakes, I hope you liked this first chapter. 

Thanks.


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